i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
