overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
