I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
