So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
