I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I looked at my own cervix.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
