I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm getting married
To pizza
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
