You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
