I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
