YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
