I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
