What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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