so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
