They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
