He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Enjoy the penises
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
