its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
