I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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