My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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