Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
There's always time for handjobs
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
We're too hungover to prance.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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