shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
