Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
