Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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