I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
