I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
