O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
