Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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