my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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