its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
