We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
