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I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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