I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
