I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
