oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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