Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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