were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
