last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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