I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
