who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
