Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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