I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
