im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
