After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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