i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
