but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Randomize
