You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
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