she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
