babies were throwing up all over the place
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
