Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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