should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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