she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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