My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
